Life is like that...: April 2012

ना तूने कभी याद किया .

ना मैंने कभी फ़रियाद करी...

यूं ही गुज़रते लम्हों से बस.

कभी कभी तेरी बात करी ...

एक पल ख़ामोशी का.

खामोश सी बैठी थी दीवानगी ...

एक आंसू कोई आँखों का .

जिसमे दम घोट, सिसक सी रही दीवानगी ...

ना पाने का गम समझ आता है.

ना जान ने की तड़प समझ आती हैं...

पर पाकर भी ना पाना है एक ऐसा तूफ़ान.

जिसकी झुलस खाने पे ही समझ आती हैं ...

तू नहीं तो तेरी याद ही सही.

दिल नहीं तो ये प्यास ही सही...

पानी तो भरा सागार में भी होता हैं.

पर पी ना सकू तो ये आग ही सही ...

P/S- Got tired of reading my 'attempt' at english translation.... This is the original, I am keeping it this way alone. Not adding a translation! Sorry... :)

I saw her every Sunday morning, unfailingly at dot 11 am at Cafe Grant.
She would always be the first customer and would always pick up the very same corner seat facing the busy early morning traffic jammed streets outside.
She would have a new set of novels every time..... 2 seemingly brand new Mills and Boons, I think.

You must be wondering...
Who am I ? And why am I telling you all this?

Hello, my name is Aakash Rana. I work with JP Morgan Chase, Mumbai. But, I was not always here. I was younger and in college, once. This is before everything, before Mumbai happened, before I matured into a man, before I woke up to life and its little realities... somewhere during my college days. I used to be a part time waiter at McDonald's, Baroda, India, (for a short span of time, though ) which is located right opposite to the said Cafe Grant. This is an old story of my Princess and me. I thought I'll tell you about it.. Nothing has ever been lost in listening to an odd story now and then. Maybe you'll learn something, maybe not...

I had just started waiting tables here over the weekends because I had some time in hand and I wanted some extra pocket money. It was vacation time and none of my school pals were home. McDonald's is a fabulous hang-out spot. So, I thought it would be fun to be around people of all kinds and earn something at the same time.... like two birds with one stone. It was just the question of a couple of weeks..... A few weekends.... It couldn't possibly hurt. :)

Just as I had assumed, I did bump into a truck load of people every time. But, there was something about Princess....

Old faded jeans, single color tees, hair drawn back severely and totally absorbed in herself and in her book.... Always...
Constantly checking her watch.
Always.... On a table for two. But the other chair was never occupied.
Was she waiting for someone?
1 cafe frappe and 1 sandwich of some kind. Every time... and those 2 Mills and Boons which got her undivided attention.

I got off duty at 2 and it was around that time that she used to shut her second novel and look up.
And before I got off my duty clothes and raced to the entrance of Cafe Grant to see where she was headed, she would have disappeared.... Like she had never been there.
Every single time...

Every time, I thought I had one more Sunday. If not now, then next week. I will definitely go up to her one of these days, I used to tell myself.

But, this was a different Sunday.

It was my last day at work. I left for college that day, soon after my duty hours.

It had been fun working. Running around under the strict nose of a stingy supervisor.... Making new work pals..... Seeing all kinds of people walk in- round, rectangle and square....But, Princess had always been a special attraction.

Today I will walk up and occupy that empty seat. I will ask her- "Hi! Is this seat taken?" and flash my one-sided dimpled smile at her and exude all the charm I can humanly muster.
I will talk to her. Ask her who she is, what she does. I'll tell her about me, about who I am and what I do.
I'll make her smile. I had seen her smile a couple of times over some interesting lines in her novel or to the waiter who often served for her. It was mesmerizing, her smile. She was just an ordinary girl to look at. But, when she smiled...... the world became a bit more beautiful. Today, I will earn one of those smiles. She will look into my eyes and smile at me. Even if it might be just because she wanted to be polite to me or probably when she would be sweetly telling me off. But, I will do it.
I had a Dairy Milk chocolate in my pocket. Nothing fancy. Just 20 bucks. But I wanted to give it to her.... I wanted to meet her.... Wanted to know her....Wanted to hear her voice....Know her.

But, she never showed up..

It was Sunday morning. She should be right here.
Where could she have possibly gone?
Did she change her city?
Did she change her hang-out place?
The chocolate had begun to melt in my pocket under the hot afternoon sun. I waited for half an hour more. Maybe she was late.
Maybe she had been waiting for Mr. Unoccupied Chair and he showed up at her doorstep today and she went out with him?

Disappointed. Deflated. Dejected.

I got back home.... Picked up my bag.... Half-heartedly put up with my Mom, fidgeting about me - pouring her worry about my inconsistent eating habits, her concern about my shabby hair do and smuggling home-cooked delicacies into my travel bag.

I sat on the platform waiting for my train.

Dad got me a bottle of chilled water and that day's local newspaper and some magazines on current affairs- "Read," he said.

"Princess" read all the time... 2 Mills and Boons... Every time..

"Okay, Dad. I'll see you soon."
I waved him off and sat on my seat. Opened the brand new bottle of mineral water and flipped through the magazine pages.

Politics.... Budget... Elections...Politics... And then some more politics..

Boring... Boring... Boring...

Maybe there is something interesting in the newspaper.

I made an effort. Kept the bottle to a side and opened a random page of the newspaper with both my hands.

And there she was!

Looking at me, right into my eyes, like I had always thought she would.
Smiling that mesmerizing smile, which made my heart beat fast and slow at the same time.

" In loving memory of beloved daughter and sister...
Kriya Sharma
It has been so cruel to lose you so suddenly in such an untimely manner.
But, you will live in our hearts. Forever.
- Sharma family. "

Life is like that...

Saturday, 28 April 2012

Disbelief...

Monday, 23 April 2012

जो बात नहीं कही .... ( Some things unsaid...)

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Princess and I... (short story)

Thursday, 5 April 2012

Just random...

About Me